8 things to keep in mind before dating an older man

8 things to keep in mind before dating an older man
Are you attracted to someone who is way older than you?

Are you attracted to someone who is way older than you? Read this before taking things forward with him.

The last thing you want is to end up in an unhappy relationship with someone you thought you shared a special bond with, despite the age difference. After speaking to a few friends and through my own experience, I have learned that these are the things you need to keep in mind before getting involved with an older man.

1. Find out if both of you are on the same page

If you’re looking for a serious relationship and he only wants to have a fling with you, it is a far better idea to nip things in the bud before your feelings get hurt. Quite a few older men chase after younger women for sex and the bragging rights. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that older men are different from younger men when it comes to using women for sex.  Find out if he is interested in marriage or settling down in the future by the first or second date, if that’s what you’re looking for.

2. Look out for any red flags early on

In the initial stages of dating, it is easy to get carried away with all the attention and expensive gifts he might shower you with. However, look out for any signs of jealousy, possessiveness and insecurity in the early stages itself. There will be times when he would prefer to stay at home when you want to go out and spend time with your friends. If that bothers him, you’re better off without him.

3. Understand that there is a generation gap

If you grew up during the 90’s and your older guy was born in the 70’s, accept the fact that he is not going to know anything about your favourite TV shows or music. Other than that, he might also be unaware of certain slang words and internet acronyms as well. Work towards bridging the generation gap and instead, use this opportunity to learn new things from him and teach him something he doesn’t know. Did you know, researchers say that men are most attracted to women in their 20’s?

4. Don’t assume that he’s financially stable

A lot of guys in their 20′s may not be financially stable. However, even if your date is in his late 30’s or 40’s, he might have many other responsibilities like giving money to his ex-wife and kids every month or paying off loans and his parents’ medical bills.

If you plan on dating him just for the perks of being with someone who has a lot of disposable income, you could end up feeling sorely disappointed. On the other hand, if you do end up becoming his trophy girlfriend, it’s only a matter of time before you feel like he’s using you for sex. Here’s how a couple’s age gap might affect the child’s health.

5. Focus on your own goals

The last thing you want is to end up as a trophy girlfriend who uses his credit cards to make ends meet. Instead of falling into that trap and depending on someone else, focus on your career and work hard to pay your bills. There’s nothing sexier than an independent woman who is passionate about her work. If you’re still studying, make it a point to go for higher education or getting a good job once you graduate.

6. Accept the fact that his ex-wife might still be in touch with him

If he was previously married and has kids, his ex-wife is still going to be a part of his life whether you like it or not. Don’t treat her as competition and instead be respectful towards her if you want your relationship to last. On the other hand, if you’re not comfortable with dealing with his kids and ex-wife, accept the fact that it might be time to move on.

7. He will come with a lot of baggage

As you grow older, there will be more baggage in your life. That’s the universal truth for everyone. When you’re getting into a relationship, prepare yourself for that and be smart enough to realise what you’re getting before getting far too involved in his life.

8. You will get a lot of unsolicited advice

If your older potential boyfriend is in the same field as you careerwise, he will want to provide advice and even offer help during your decision-making process. If you’re independent and don’t like being told what to do, there might be some friction in the relationship. Instead, you could consider actually listening to him as he might just have some insightful tips because of his experience. On the other hand, you could establish some boundaries early on in your relationship and agree on keeping your private and work life separate.

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